I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
