Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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