you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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