My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm too high and old for this...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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