Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize