ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
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Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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