So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
