i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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