I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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