i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
