God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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