P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
