I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
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we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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