I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize