Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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