well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
