so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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