I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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