He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
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So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize