isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
