Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
