i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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