I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
