he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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