glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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