epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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