Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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