is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
