the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
