Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
