She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
