He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
