Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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