It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
