it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
