What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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