Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
