Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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