ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize