I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
