JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I have surprise drugs for everyone
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
