I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
