Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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