Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
