remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
