He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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