Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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