her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize