I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
