This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My hand turned me down
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize