how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
