sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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