My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize