They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
